The Tyranny of the TV

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television, TV

First things first: I love television. I love movies. I love amazing, well-written stories on the big or small screen. I love cheesy, insane stories as well. But I love them on my terms.

Since moving in to my first apartment with my roommate from college, we have had the “tradition” if you will of plopping down in the living room in front of the television from the time we get home, through dinner, and until we head to bed.

A few weeks ago, she went home for a few days, over a weekend and then a few weekdays.

And I did not turn on the tv.

And it was glorious.

Since then, I have made it a goal not to watch any tv during the week, and then catch up on my shows on the weekends, on my schedule. The main problem with watching them during the week when they air originally is not the ads, since those appear on OnDemand and online as well, but rather how easy it is to watch something else before and after that show instead of just that show.

Since then, I have been instead reading, writing, creating more than before. It’s been fabulous!

Except my roommate continues to have the tv on from the moment she gets home until she goes to bed, which is always after me. From having visited her parents house, I understand that this is mostly a learned habit, and it’s just white noise to her. But it’s annoying to me. It’s always blaring, always loud.

Our apartment is big, but not big enough that I have somewhere else to escape to besides my bedroom, and thus my bed, which is problematic for my sleep problems. The best days for me are those when she works late, because it means at least an hour of quiet time for me.

But I didn’t intend for this to become a screed about my roommate issues. Rather, it’s something that I’ve been noticing in my life, something that I’m curious about, both my subconscious feelings and intentions, and perhaps hers. It’s all wrapped up in a series of posts I’ve been considering writing about different ways to think about living life.

But now I’m really getting off topic, so I shall end here, and instead ask you: what are your feelings about television? Something that should be removed from all households as it hinders development in other, better areas, such as art and writing? Or something that should be incorporated into everyday life as a matter of fact? Or somewhere in between?

 

The Great Gatsby

 

I’m just going to leave this here for now. Except to say, WOW.

On Wasting Time

It’s so easy, isn’t it?

It’ll just be a minute… I just want to see one thing. Ok, one more thing. One more. More. More. More!

And even when there’s nothing more to see, even when every single site you regularly go to to escape has no more updates, you keep cycling through them, hoping something will pop up that will transport you somewhere else, anywhere else, anything to escape the reality you are facing.

Even if that reality is just an empty apartment, an empty room, an empty bed.

Nothing scary, nothing to be worried about.

Just sadness. And missing-ness. And wishful-ness.

Wishing for company. Specific company, not just any. Company that is a mere hour away, but might as well be across the world…

Is that a picture of a cat in an implausible but adorable situation? Let’s go!

The Power of Pretty

Growing up, I never paid much attention to what I wore. High school was filled with grungy jeans and massive sweatshirts.

When I reached college, my self-confidence grew, and with it, my consideration of my wardrobe. I discovered dresses and skirts and flowing pants, oh my!

Today, working in an office that requires me to dress semi-professionally (i.e. no jeans, but pretty much anything else goes), I revel in wearing dresses and skirts of all lengths and styles as many days as the weather allows.* My winter/bad weather wardrobe still needs a good deal of updating, but since it’s only the beginning of sunshine season, I think I can give myself a bit of leeway there.

But the point is, I care. When I put on clothing that I adore, I feel FABULOUS. I feel glamorous and joyous. I feel like I can do anything. And who wouldn’t want to feel that way?

I still have a long way to go before I feel that way every single day, but I am learning. I am experimenting with my current wardrobe** and when I find an outfit that I adore, I find excuses to wear it at least once a week. I need more. But it takes time, and cultivation, so for now, I am reveling in what I can, and aiming for a brighter, more glamorous future!

Who’s with me?

*And since recent weather shifts have allowed such behavior, a coworker was shocked when he realized I was wearing pants the other day because he had grown so used to me in skirts

** Someday soon I’m going to need to do a huge purge of my closet. I need to get rid of what doesn’t fit, what I don’t like, and discover old pieces that I love, yet are currently buried beneath heaps of stuff. Someday…

Sick. Blech.

At the beginning of last week, I was feeling rather smug and happy. You see, I had avoided the office plague that had decimated our ranks the two weeks prior.

And then I caught it.

A miserable flu that didn’t even have the courtesy of announcing itself with a stuffed nose or any of the other regular symptoms of the flu. Instead, it simply left me exhausted with a pounding headache. For the last six days.

On the plus side, I completed every single beginner-level park in Rollercoaster Tycoon 2 and its two expansion packs!

On the downside, I was miserable and bored and simply ready. to. be. well.

To feel like myself.

That’s the problem with getting sick. It strips you of all your you-ness and leaves behind an empty shell that just wants sleep and trashy TV.

So today, even though I still felt fluctuatingly weak all day, when I actually wanted to sit down and write something, I knew I was finally on my way to getting better.

And just in time – I’m going on vacation Wednesday night!

 

Postscript: Just as I hit “Publish” on this post, “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter came on my iPod. The perfect accompaniment, methinks!

Listening to the Rain

I stayed home from work today after I woke up with an incredibly intense headache, though not with my usual migraine symptoms. And it turned out to be the perfect day to stay home: miserably grey and rainy.

And just now it turned into a thunderstorm.

I spent the day doing my usual sick-day activities, e.g. drinking tea (well, I do this anyway I suppose), watching trashy television, constantly refreshing my Google Reader and Twitter feeds, and maybe reading a bit.

But now I’m wishing I could go back and start the day over.

I want a quiet day.

I surround myself with sounds, and start to feel uncomfortable when I don’t have it. However, when I made dinner, I forced myself to just sit at the dining table and simply listen to the rain. No turning on iTunes. No radio. No television. Just me and the rain.

And it was delightful. Of course.

So now I’m sitting here, immensely enjoying the rain and the chance to relax without forcing my brain to work a mile a minute.

I know I’ve blogged about such things before, but it is remarkable. This silence thing. Even though it’s not technically silence, it’s uncontrolled noise, sans human voices. Which is delightfully relaxing.

This makes me even more excited for my vacation to the mountains next week! But more on that later…

For now, I shall focus on making sure I’m not sick when it comes time to leave on that vacation. And on enjoying the rain.

Stranger Danger

As a society in general, we tend to distrust people that we haven’t met through the regular channels – i.e. through someone we already know, and thus already properly vetted.

Sure, there are some areas where we are expected, to a certain extent, to reach out to the general populace and engage them in some manner – such as a bar – but otherwise? All strangers are bad.

And I understand the reasoning behind such a culture. We’re surrounded by media that tells us that everyone around us wants to kill/rape/maim us and thus we must be on our guard, but surely the good people outnumber the bad? What’s so terrible about reaching out to someone else and simply exploring the possibility of friendship?

We are able to do this through the internet, but even then, folks are vetted via their usage of social media/blogs and what they post therein.

Am I crazy in thinking that perhaps we should take a chance on strangers? If someone starts up a conversation on a train, say, should we shun them for breaking social convention, or engage? Meet someone new, or stick with the conventional, the known?

I know I am certainly much more comfortable with the latter, as are most of us I presume, but should we change that? Or is it best to continue as we are, carefully vetting all who come into our paths for fear of the unknown?

Probably.

Finding Romance

I try to convince myself that I am a strong, independent, sexy, woman, but every once in a while (ok, who am I kidding,  most of the time!), I find myself in situations that cast doubt over that assertion. I’m just not very good at lying to myself, I suppose.

Most recently, I found myself questioning my ability to feel that way when I was talking with my beau of five years. Usually he makes me feel amazing about myself, but this time I was showing him something I had written. Something I hadn’t shown anyone else – I hadn’t even told anyone I was writing it! Something I was proud of. Something in the romance genre. Which is where I fall apart.

I’m not very good at the whole romance thing. Don’t get me wrong – I can write about stolen glances and secret desires with no problem! Showing those words to someone? Even the most supportive person in my life? Nerve. Wracking. To. The. Max.

I mean, I can barely show any sort of affection in public – even after dating the same person for five years! I’m just not comfortable with it. And I wish I were. I would love to be that adorable couple in love that just cheers you up when you see them. But when it comes to actually being that couple? Ha. Good luck.

I’m scared of romance. I don’t know why. There’s no reason for it. In my head, I’m perfectly fine with it. I read romance novels, I love me some good chick flicks, heck I’m writing a romance! But when it comes to showing it outwardly, I simply can’t do it.

As my beau will tell you, he’s been working on this problem for years – ever since he met me, he and my college roommates have been working on getting me to demonstrate any emotion. Took us quite a while to just hold hands in public.

But this isn’t to try to analyze my issues (though if you have any thoughts, feel free to share!). Rather, this is my formal statement that I am going to try to do better at expressing my feelings in a public sphere rather than being scared off.

Will you help me?

The Perfect Day

Today was the perfect day.

I was able to sleep in, and awoke to a nice quiet house. I went downstairs and ran on the treadmill for a half hour. After a blissful shower, I put on some of my favorite music – the soundtrack to the movie The Majestic - and made a large cup of tea. After catching up on all the blogs I follow, I made a lovely fire, and sat down with a wonderful library book to while away the afternoon hours. In the evening, my father and I made an amazing spaghetti sauce with homemade meatballs, and we enjoyed a lovely family dinner.

These simple acts felt luxurious and rejuvenating. This is the sort of day that I plan to base my future on. Someday, when I’m married, perhaps with a few kids, and certainly my own house, I would love to make all Sundays this peaceful and wonderful.

What consists of a perfect day for you?